Embracing my journey of survival and celebrating my birthday: Journey of Survival and Growth

Introduction:

Greetings! Today is a special day for me—it's my birthday. As I reflect upon my life, I realize that for the past 46 years, I have been living in a constant state of survival. The challenges and adversities I have faced have shaped me into the person I am today. Join me as I delve into the journey of survival and growth that has defined my existence.

The Beginning:

My journey of survival began the moment I was born. I emerged into this world with a strong desire to survive and fulfill my purpose. It wasn't an easy start, as I was resuscitated by doctors at birth. Additionally, being born into a family tainted with evilness exposed me to the harsh realities of being a victim in the world we live in. However, deep within my soul, I possessed an addiction—an addiction to goodness, honesty, and authenticity.

Facing Adversities:

Throughout my life, I encountered numerous incidents that tested my spirit and pushed me further away from my true self. Deceitfulness, violence within my family, bullying and jealousy in my environment, witnessing flawed role models, experiencing molestation, being labeled negatively, enduring rape and neglect, and witnessing the loss of lives through murder and suicide—these events, combined with ongoing violence and lies even when I moved to another country, all contributed to the challenges I faced as an adult.

Striving for Better Despite the difficulties:

I always yearned to be a better person and prove to others that I could overcome anything. Little did I know that my relentless efforts would often lead to my downfall. The conflicts between my subconscious and consciousness, fueled by a lack of guidance on what was right or wrong, compelled me to embark on a journey of self-discovery. I gradually learned that I wasn't always right, but each experience taught me valuable lessons, albeit sometimes at a slower pace due to my impatience. Life continues to teach me humility.

The Turning Point:

When I turned 18, I believed that adulthood would be my ticket out of misery. However, little did I know that my entire world would crumble, forcing me to rebuild it from scratch. Growing up, I had subconsciously internalized the belief that no man was worth being with, influenced by my father's abusive behavior and my mother's violent tendencies towards me. As a result, I aspired to be a single mother with four children from the same father. Today, I question the path I chose and the hardships it brought, unsure of how to navigate it all.

A Mother's Struggle:

My firstborn, a son, led me to repeat the cycle I experienced with my mother, albeit for different reasons. It felt like an uncontrollable impulse, and I found myself in moments of anger and frustration, unleashing it on my child. Each time, I would cry and question why I acted this way, but no answer seemed to satisfy me. Seeking help proved futile, as most responses dismissed my actions as normal and urged me not to repeat them. It was when my son, at the tender age of three, expressed his fear of me that I embarked on a profound journey of self-exploration. I wanted to understand myself better, to navigate life more effectively, and to break free from destructive patterns.

Embracing Change:

My personal journey of growth and self-discovery has been challenging, especially without adequate support. However, it has instilled in me a deep desire to become a better version of myself in all aspects of life. As I sit alone on my birthday, I realize that I am both lucky and unlucky.

Embracing the Journey

As I reflect on my journey of survival and growth, I am reminded of the immense challenges I have faced and the resilience I have developed along the way. Each experience, no matter how difficult, has contributed to shaping the person I am today. Through the trials and tribulations, I have learned the importance of self-reflection, honesty, and embracing change.

Life has taught me valuable lessons about trust, both in others and within myself. While it may be tempting to succumb to the darkness and negativity that exist in the world, I have chosen to stand strong in my commitment to compassion, kindness, and the pursuit of light. It is a constant battle, but one that is worth fighting.

The journey of survival and growth is not an easy one. It often feels like an uphill climb, with setbacks and challenges at every turn. Yet, amidst the struggles, there are moments of triumph and self-discovery that make it all worthwhile. I have come to understand that true growth comes from within, and it requires a deep understanding of one's own emotions and the ability to navigate them with grace.

As I celebrate the rebirth of my life on this special day, I look forward to the next phase of my journey. I am determined to continue striving for personal and financial success, while staying true to myself and the principles that guide me. Life may throw curveballs my way, but I am confident in my ability to land on my feet and overcome any obstaclesh that comes my way.

May my story serve as a reminder that even in the face of adversity, survival is possible, and growth is attainable. We have the power to shape our own destinies and create a life that is authentic and fulfilling. Let us embrace the journey, learning from our past and looking forward to a future filled with hope, resilience, and endless possibilities.

I'm addicted to betterment. What are you addicted to? But today I'll be celebrating with a dear friend of mine who invited me for dinner, so I won't be alone on this day. Lucky me🙏🎂

Love and gratitude Philomena❤️❤️❤️