🌱 The Space Between: Waiting, Wishing, and Not Knowing Yet

 There’s a strange kind of energy that settles in just before something big, not the moment itself, but the space right before it. That’s where I am now.

Waiting.
Wishing.
And not knowing yet.

A meeting was scheduled weeks ago, the kind where authorities will decide something about my future. Since then, I’ve been living in that in-between. Doing what I can to rebuild my energy, tend to my soul, and balance the everyday demands of life. It’s a delicate space. not quite stable, not quite chaotic. Just... unfolding.

🌀 When You’ve Done All You Can (And Still Don’t Know)
There’s a deep vulnerability in not having control. I’ve taken steps. Organized what needed organizing. Strengthened what could be strengthened. But there’s still a silence that stretches between me and the outcome.

I used to think waiting meant passivity. Now I see it as a kind of strength. It’s holding yourself with care in a space where nothing is certain.

🌕 The Wishing Part
I wish for clarity.
For freedom.
For the kind of future that doesn’t cost my health or spirit.

But wishes can be tender things. They’re not always loud or demanding. Sometimes they just sit beside you quietly, hoping you won’t forget them when the world starts speaking again.

🌿 In the Meantime... Real Life
Of course, while waiting, life doesn’t pause. There are groceries. Letters to answer. Emotions that rise and fall like tides. There’s laughter. There’s burnout. There are days I feel strong and days I want to hide under the covers.

But somehow, in this space between, I’m learning to be more gentle with myself. To acknowledge that I’m doing more than I realize,  just by staying present, soft, and steady in a world that rushes.

🌸 Not Knowing Isn’t Failure — It’s Fertile
There’s a strange power in not knowing.
It keeps me open. Curious. Awake.
Not-knowing is not a void, it’s a field of potential. And in this space, I’m letting myself wonder:
What if the future isn’t being decided for me, but is being shaped through me?

🌙 And When It Comes... I’ll Still Be Me
Whatever the meeting brings, whatever papers or words or systems decide, one thing remains: I’ll still be me.

I’ll still be the one who held herself in the space between.

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🌕 Reflections for the soul — written from the edge of truth.

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🌸 Until next time, sending light and peace 
🕯️ With gentleness,
~ HingsLotus