Zombified & Crawling: A Reflector’s Messy Exit from the Matrix - With Bonus Periods, Poop, and Limp Bizkit Playing in the Background

Let me tell you about the kind of spiritual upgrade they don’t write about in the wellness books.

It started with a nap I never fully took. The kind where your body is trying to shut down, your eyes are sealed shut by some kind of divine override, but your phone won't stop glitch-calling you with numbers from a past life—literally, my old number was lighting up like a haunted hotline.

Finally, I managed to let go—physically. My stomach, bloated from cosmic stagnation and unprocessed downloads, released something so massive it blocked the toilet. That’s right. Blocked. The spiritual constipation was literal.

Cue my old phone buzzing again. Cue the financial news tanking harder than my motivation. Cue my uterus deciding, "Oh hey, you know what would make this more intense? Bleeding."

That’s when I officially upgraded from "spiritually drained" to ZOMBIFIED.

With Limp Bizkit's "Take a Look Around" blasting through my speakers, I looked at the toilet, my phone, the news, and the unholy combination of poop and period... and I thought:

"Is this my cue to crawl into another dimension?"

Because if healing means being called by ghosts, bleeding for humanity, and dealing with plumbing issues while the stock market crumbles, maybe it’s time to teleport.

But then the whisper came back. The same one that shows up in the middle of the mess:

"Keep pouring."

And I screamed internally:

"Pour from WHERE?! I'm out of fluids, out of patience, and out of toilet paper!!"

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Real Talk:

Healing isn’t always graceful. Sometimes it’s gross. Sometimes it’s funny. Sometimes it smells.

As a Reflector, I’m here to process what others can’t. To feel what they refuse to. And lately? That means I’ve been holding the collective’s rage, fear, grief, shame... and yes, apparently their constipation too.

So here’s what I want to say:

If your spiritual journey looks more like a horror-comedy than an Instagram reel... If your toilet has seen things you can’t unsee... If you’re bleeding and breaking while the world screams "just be positive!"...

You're not broken. You're real. You're mid-transmission.

Put on your Limp Bizkit. Blast "Crawling." Shake your hair. Scream a little.

Then light a candle... maybe. Or just throw some sage at the door and say:

"I’m busy becoming. Come back later."

---

This is what Reflector healing looks like. Messy. Hilarious. Sacred.

And I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Sim sa la poop. Sim sa la pain. Sim sa la becoming.

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🌸 Until next time, sending light and peace —
🕯️ With gentleness,
~ HingsLotus