Philomena Petersen aka HingsLotus

Let me tell you about the kind of spiritual upgrade they   don’t   write about in the wellness books. It started with a nap I never fully took. The kind where your body is trying to shut down, your eyes are sealed shut by some kind of divine override, but your phone won't stop glitch-calling you with numbers from a past life—literally, my   old   number was lighting up like a haunted hotline. Finally, I managed to let go—physically. My stomach, bloated from cosmic stagnation and unprocessed downloads, released something so massive it blocked the toilet. That’s right. Blocked. The spiritual constipation was   literal . Cue my old phone buzzing again. Cue the financial news tanking harder than my motivation. Cue my uterus deciding,   "Oh hey, you know what would make this more intense? Bleeding." That’s when I officially upgraded from "spiritually drained" to   ZOMBIFIED . With Limp Bizkit's "Take a Look Around" blasting through my speakers, I looked...

  🌙 🌌 🌀 I had one of   those   dreams  The kind that lingers, layered in symbols and half-sentences. Frogs, hospitals, elevators, plantain chips. I was searching for documents with coworkers and a young intern. My ex-husband appeared, short on money. There was excitement and confusion, a feeling of being close to something, but not quite there. Then a friend’s phone   pocket-called   me and woke me up mid-dream. Later she said, “Oh, you’re up early!”; and I laughed because she knows I’m   not   a morning person. But maybe that call was the universe’s way of saying:   bring it back now… and reflect. Here’s what the dream showed me and how it mirrors my life right now, just days before a major meeting about my future. 🐸 Frogs in the Hallways There were frogs everywhere, inside a building, not just outside in nature. That’s how it feels in real life: transformation crawling through every corner. Frogs are liminal beings, always between one e...

When people ask why I don’t have stacks of my own books sitting at home, or why my printed books aren’t available everywhere — I want to tell them the whole story. So here it is. 📦 The Truth About Stocking Books In the past, I ordered boxes of my own books. I thought it was what authors were “supposed” to do. Have copies ready to sell. Be professional. Be prepared. But what really happened? I got stuck with them. Books sitting in boxes. In corners. In closets. And slowly... the energy got heavy. Because my books aren’t just “products.” They’re pieces of me. Reflections. Energy I’ve shaped and shared through deep experiences. Holding them without movement began to feel like keeping stories trapped instead of shared. So I chose something different. I chose to let them live online — where they can travel freely, be downloaded, be printed, and reach the hands and hearts they’re meant to reach. 🌍 The Invisible Limitations of KDP And here’s what most people don’t know about self-publishing...

  There’s a strange kind of energy that settles in just before something big, not the moment itself, but the   space right before it . That’s where I am now. Waiting. Wishing. And not knowing yet. A meeting was scheduled weeks ago, the kind where authorities will decide something about my future. Since then, I’ve been living in that in-between. Doing what I can to rebuild my energy, tend to my soul, and balance the everyday demands of life. It’s a delicate space. not quite stable, not quite chaotic. Just... unfolding. 🌀 When You’ve Done All You Can (And Still Don’t Know) There’s a deep vulnerability in not having control. I’ve taken steps. Organized what needed organizing. Strengthened what could be strengthened. But there’s still a silence that stretches between me and the outcome. I used to think waiting meant passivity. Now I see it as a kind of strength. It’s   holding yourself with care   in a space where nothing is certain. 🌕 The Wishing Part I wish for clari...

 There’s something I’ve recently become aware of— Not just about how I  see  the world... But about how I  sound  when I speak the truth. When I’m in full clarity When something lands in my body as undeniable My voice changes. It sharpens. It gets louder. It feels firm. I don’t plan it. I don’t raise my voice to dominate. It’s just how my truth comes through. But I’ve now realized… That truth tone can  feel  like judgment. Especially to those who are fragile, uncertain, Or holding onto something they’re afraid to face. Today, my friend called me again. She needed clarity. She was stuck in something painful. And like so many times before, I reflected what I saw Not to tell her what to do, But to give her choice. I asked: “How would you feel if it was you?” “What will happen inside you if you choose this path... or the other?” “What weight will you carry later if you follow fear, not truth?” I didn’t mean to raise my voice. But she felt it. And it hurt h...